How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
