I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I know her cup size but not her name....
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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