haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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