not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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