A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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