i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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