you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
