shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
