Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Randomize
