CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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