its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
