im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
