uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Randomize
