i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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