well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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