we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
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in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
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She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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