Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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