the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
