Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
