Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
