you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
