i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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