We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize