Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
