I'm so fucking centered right now
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
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