Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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