I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
