He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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