I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
