literally had 100 drinks last night.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
You're like the curious george of whores
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Sorry my hands just texted you
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
