I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
