Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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