I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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