She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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