he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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