YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i drank out of a bidet.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Drunk is a universal language darling
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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