I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
