You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
is it fun? or sober?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
