apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Randomize