Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
