Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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