I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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