Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Randomize
