you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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