Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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