You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
