can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I've blown a few things in my day
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
