Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
