i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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