so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I love you. Go after that dick
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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