Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
