By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
