i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
