just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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