he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
