in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
