the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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