So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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