you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
