If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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