found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
