Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I think I sprained my soul last night
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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