the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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