Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
