I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
