im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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