I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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