WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
