5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
