Duck Duck Cougar?
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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